Life moves fast at the Commission of Commissions. Just last week a special meeting was convened to standardise stationary. When I pointed out that stationery is well, pretty standard, I was chastised for being a "resister to step change". That's the problem with being the FNG (f*cking new guy), no-one takes you seriously for at least 6 months.
Later that night. I was walking our small horse around Island Bay. As some of you might recall, we own a lethargic retired greyhound. She spends most of her time in a state of near slumber, curled up on cheap blankets we bought at the Warehouse. A life to envy.
Having completed her emissions on the front lawn of a chardonnay swilling Island Bayer, we headed for home via the dark alley which connects Clyde Street with the The Parade. At this point the mutt and myself were confronted by 4 unruly teens dressed like Jay-Z from the hood. Three things occurred to me:
(1) The dog must be furious at me. Being a bit chilly, I dressed her in a dog coat which was red with cute white paw prints all over it. She had lost all credibility as a noble beast. Her contempt was palpable.
(2) I am listening to Adele on the iPod - clearly I had lost credibility sometime ago.
(3) The dog might be able to run pretty fast, but I can't.
I needn't have worried. Here is what happened;
Jay Dog Gangster 1: "Choice dog bro"
Me: "Cheers"
Jay Dog Gangster 2: "He is massive - can we pat him?"
Me: "Sure"
The boys proceeded to fuss over the chuffed mutt and eventually said their goodbyes. The moral of the story - never listen to Adele on your iPod.
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