Every large Lotto Powerball jackpot, my wife and I have the same conversation. If we won shit loads of money, would we remain in Island Bay? My answer is a categorical no. She thinks yes. But this is because her criteria for a place to live is based around the flatness of the road (she hates Wellington hills) and requiring a two minute walk access to a local cafe.
So because the weather is lousy, here is my list of reasons I would not remain in Island Bay if I won aforementioned shit load of money.
(1) 100km southerly winds blasting your pasty face as you stagger down the road with your disgruntled dog. You resemble a startled washed potato.
(2) 110km northerly blasting up your polar fleece. This causes ones normally inconspicuous man nipples to resemble a couple of nails hammered halfway into your sunken chest.
(3) Having to put up with the halfway house drunks, spastics and lunatics who occasionally stumble in Island Bay from nearby "colourful" Newtown.
(4) Having to put up with snooty Island Bay mums with flash buggies, designer jeans and irritating offspring called Oliver and Ella - Mind you, I bet they are walking along dreaming of living in Kelburn or Roseneath so I suppose they have their own private torments.
What I like about Island Bay? Its not Karori.
Admit it you just want to move back to Hamilton
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