My 3 year old boy is learning to poo in the toilet. To date, he prefers his underpants. He is somewhere between confused, lazy and/or noncholent. Obviously he is destined for a long career as a middle manager at a third rate government agency. Much like most of the people who read this blog, I suspect.
In order to motivate the little fellow to prefer the toilet to his pants. a "Poo Chart" has been created. For every poo deposited in the toilet, he places a truck sticker on the chart. Simple reward theory.
As I was cleaning yet another pair of shitty underwear, I began to formulate a theory on how a poo chart might be used to modify the behaviour of annoying people.
Then I realised that some people are so irritating, it is not worth trying. Greenpeace recruiters on the Terrace come to mind. Too happy and shiny.
Also, anyone who likes that mythical TV show, "The Wire". I mean really, if it takes 28 episodes to understand what the hell the show is on about, how can it be any good?
Very fat people. There I said it. The other day my brisk walk into the supermarket was halted by a BMI challenged fatty. His or her's (alas, the 42 inch flat screen ass rendered gender identification impossible) pace in the fruit and vege section would embarrass a sloth. Of course Mr or Mrs fatty could not turn around to note my irritation because their neck was too thick. Oh the humanity! Thankfully the pace picked up by the cooked chickens. The waft of chicken fat is a powerful motivator.
Perhaps I'll reward my 3 year old with greasy chicken skin, it could be more successful than stickers.
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